Political Correctness

Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as 'HILLBILLIES.'
You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS .

WOMEN
1. She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.
2. She is not a DUMB BLONDE - She is a LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.
3. She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.
4. She does not NAG you - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.
5. She is not a TWO-BIT HOOKER - She is a LOW COST PROVIDER.

MEN
1. He does not have a BEER GUT - He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.
2. He is not a BAD DANCER - He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.
3.. He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME - He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.
4. He is not BALDING - He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.
5. He does not act like a TOTAL ASS - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.
6. It's not his CRACK you see hanging out of his pants - It's TROUSER CLEAVAGE.